Ainy Cooks

P IAssalam-u-walikum Ammi,

By now you must have heard the news of me getting killed in the attack at our school. I know Ammi, you are crying a lot and so is Papa. I can see everything from up here. Please don’t cry. I cannot see you both cry. It hurts me. I can see you both wailing and shaking my body violently and pleading me to come back. Ammi, stay strong please. Didn’t I tell you that I didn’t want to go to school today?

The function in the auditorium was going quite good. I was seated right in the middle from where I could see the stage clearly. Everything was calm and pleasant when suddenly a couple of Army men entered into the dimly lit auditorium. I thought they were here to watch the show, but they were all armed. They did not wear masks. Ammi, they looked very scary! And all of a sudden one of them shot down our Chief guest. We all screamed. And then they started firing on us. Many of my school-mates were hurt, some of them died on the spot. We started running here and there desperately searching for an escape. Ammi, I couldn’t find an escape route, I was so small. My friends from higher classes blocked my view. All I could hear were gunshots that almost made me deaf. I felt scared. I was lonely. I needed you Ammi. Where were you? I wanted to hide in your arms…

I also cried a lot and I was frantically shouting out to you and Papa, but I wasn’t sure if you were hearing me. Were you hearing me Ammi Jan? Didn’t Papa hear too? You used to say that you were always with me. Then where were you today? By then, my school’s auditorium was in complete chaos. Ammi! There was blood everywhere. I ran for the door and tripped over my English teacher’s body. I saw her, she was lying down in a pool of blood. I tried to wake her up too, Ammi. She did not respond. I knew something was terribly wrong. They even burned one of our teachers in front of us and forced us too see her die. She was a very good teacher. Why did they burn her? Why were these uncles killing us …………


Thats it….. i found no courage to read more…tears were rolling down while reading this letter. I was sitting numb  for a moment or so, the part of me that wants only to cry and shout and moan that  how can Parents of all those Martyr kids will start a  new year . Being a parent I know  no father and mother can bear a slightest harm coming to their children …But having your child murdered is another dimension of pain and grief. No words can express the feeling of all those parents who have lost their children.



Every single story of every single parent is heart tearing …


“We sent our kids to this school because it is known for its high standards and quality of education…. My son was a brilliant student and even a few weeks back he was awarded a gold medal for his excellent midterm results. Yesterday we watched the news on TV and as five of our kids were studying there we got so worried and upset for the safety of our children,” said Haji Dost Muhammad, 52, whose son Asad died in the attack. “We were told that a bullet hit him from the back, tearing his heart. Asad was an outstanding student and wanted to be a pilot but his soul flew from his body before he could fly a plane.”



I feel deep grief, for lives that will never be the same again. For families that will see empty beds and silent rooms for rest of their lives. Grief for fathers that will bury their hearts with their sons and daughters; for mothers that will never smile again.  Grief for lives that reached out to stars, to dreams, every day, but now will never be.

A Mother’s grief on Peshawar Incident by arynews


These are not only my feelings but of a lot of Parents like me. New year is about to start but i have no plans no revolutions in my mind ..just prayers for all those who are not with us .

May Allah give SABAR to all parents….:(



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