Ainy Cooks


Somewhere in my heart beneath all my grief and pain,
Is a smile I still wear at the sound of your dear name.
The precious word is ‘MOTHER’, she was my world you see,
But now my heart is breaking cause she’s no longer here with me.
God chose her for His angel to watch me from above,
To guide me and advise me and know that I’m still loved.
The day she had to leave me when her life on earth was through,
God had better plans for her, for this, I surely knew.
When I think of her kind heart and all those loving years,
My memories surround me and I can’t hold back the tears.
She truly was my best friend, someone I could confide in,
She always had a tender touch and a warm and gentle grin.
I want to thank you Mother for teaching me so well,
And though the time has come that I must bid you this farewell.
I’ll remember all you’ve taught me and make you proud you’ll see.
Thank you my Dear Mother for all the love you showed me.
Although you’ve left this earth and now you’ve taken flight,
I know that you are here with me each morning, noon and night.

A poem by Anonymous author is very close to my heart because every single word is portraying my own feelings.I always hated these words” your loved one is no more with us” But on 29th January 2011 our family heard the same, Those are words you never want to hear, words you want to block out, acting like you never heard them!

My beloved mother died of Cancer. She had been told of the cancer about an year before her death. During that time I read every book or detail on internet to prepare myself for what lay ahead. What do you do? Someone is not yet dead, but it is hopeless,helpless so you succumb to watching them die? But my mother was a fighter.She courageously swallowed her fetal illness and started fighting, I never saw a Women asking about her stages and chances of recovery her self in Pakistan.
I can not forget the last days of her with us.Fortunately we all were with her.None of us wanted to face the facts.But we three, brothers and sister were still holding on to some sliver of hope.

I would trade anything in the world to have my mother back.
As i was writing this post tears rolled down my face and i was recalling her love to her grand children.She loved all her grand children Laiba, Munim and my son Ali,he was 2 that time.He no longer remembered her. I try to bring those memories back to him, but they are gone. Gone like my mother, his grandmother.One thing is sure he never ever forget to pray for her daily in bed at night.

Losing My Mother and all the grief and pain that came along with it was nothing like what I had expected.
I would like to share Allama Iqbal’s few verses here in the end….

May your grave be bright like the dawn’s mansion
May this dusty bed-chamber of yours be light-filled!

May the sky be spraying dew on your grave!
May the freshly grown grass be guarding this house!


11 Responses

  1. Suma ameen Ainy.. I know no one can take your parents place.. The substitution can never be in this world.. May Allah grant your parents jannah.. ALLAH unki maghfirat farmaaye.. I can imagine your feelings.. I do miss my dad.. Kabi unko bhuli nahin.. Har moqa py yaad atay hain.. Par we are helpless 🙁

  2. Ameen, love everything you wrote. May allah swt grant your mother the highest place in jannah. I lost my mother last month and still in grieving. May allah bless you for sharing such amazing recipes.

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